Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
If you're young at heart.
For it's hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart.
You can go to extremes with impossible schemes.
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams.
And life gets more exciting with each passing day.
And love is either in your heart, or on it's way.
Don't you know that it's worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart.
For as rich as you are, it's much better by far
To be young at heart.
And if you should survive to 105,
Look at all you'll derive out of being alive!
And here is the best part, you have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart.
UCW Wrestling takes a gamble with their latest video release (
match #449) and it pays off big.
This offering features the mononymous (and perhaps aptly named) Victor testing his youthful vigor against a debuting grappler/bodybuilder named LS Powerhouse, a buff gentleman of a classic vintage predating even Old Freddie. Powerhouse could be Victor's father (if not his grandfather) and the fact that LS is a totally credible "heel" -- a thoroughly intimidating physical specimen -- serves as a huge inspiration to vegetating geriatrics like yours truly.
Actually, match #449 is a double-barrel inspiration, thanks to the presence of Victor. Victor motivated me to compose another
recent blog entry in which I focused on Victor's long haired, bohemian image. Now sporting a shorter hairstyle, Victor is more difficult to categorize (perhaps the only label that fits Victor is "individualist" and that, in itself, is sexy). However, Victor's mop-top is still long enough to provide a stark contrast to LS's shiny, depilated
pate so the covetous, crusty codger resorts to some ungentlemanly hair-pulling during this encounter.
Young Victor's tresses are so frequently a source of his distress throughout match #449, this video will probably elicit orgasmic paroxysms from another salacious senior, my good friend Blogger Joe (who is once again churning out wrestling reviews for
Ringside at Skull Island, by the way).
Inter-generational jealousy is a subtext of this production as the petulant Powerhouse mauls Victor's elegant, angular visage. Victor's effervescent smile stokes the fires of LS's sadism.
Certain individuals out there in underground wrestling land (who are as cynical about their politics as they are about their wrestling productions) have called me an "ultra-mark" because I discuss the blurred lines between theatrics and reality in sports entertainment. May I cite as evidence the following bit of interaction during match #449...
If you think that LS isn't actually punishing Victor here, you're clearly delusional (the sort of person who believes that Bernie Sanders isn't a viable presidential candidate, for example)...
I don't believe I've ever seen anyone's upper gums exposed to that degree...
In the comfortable, upper middle-class world that some individuals inhabit, it's unfathomable that young men would actually suffer excruciating pain to earn money in underground wrestling videos. I'll say no more about the matter. (My Beautiful, Precious Johnny Deep -- MBPJD -- never
received a head injury in his final UCW video, either.)
Since it's all sanitized theatrics, we must marvel at Victor's remarkable job of "selling" when a certain sensitive portion of his anatomy appeared to be twisted...
You don't believe that Powerhouse would actually apply real pressure during this bearhug, do you? I'm sure that LS was all charm and delicacy during this encounter...
A wrestler making his debut in UCW knows that he'll never be invited back if his video doesn't sell. Of course, that knowledge would never factor into his behavior during a shoot. None of these guys would actually rough up their opponents, would they?
Well, if such behavior ever did occur -- hypothetically speaking, of course -- the wrestler who had been abused would relish an opportunity to retaliate. For example, a wrestler who had taken quite a few stiff hits might actually enjoy blocking blood flow in his bullying opponent's carotid arteries when administering a sleeper hold...
...until the bully's face started turning purple and the veins in his forehead started to bulge.
The feeling of finally being in control might drive a kid wild with ecstasy...
...causing the youngster to become so carried away that the bully would have to covertly signal to the cameraman...
...and the cameraman would gesture to the kid, imploring him to ease up on the hold.
Of course, the kid would comply, having already scored a moral victory of sorts.
I don't want you to get the impression that this video contains a solid 32 minutes and 10 seconds of brutality (although there is enough of it to satisfy even the staunchest prettyboy hater). In addition to the freelance torment that the grapplers inflict on each other, there's also some good-natured tussling.
Victor frequently displays his flexibility, blithely tolerating contortions that would create major discomfort in a less youthful athlete.
When UCW wrestlers begin their training, they are told to punch the mat room's cinder block wall. To avoid injuring their knuckles, the neophyte grapplers usually pull their punch, to one degree or another. The rookies are then informed that they should never punch an opponent with more force than they used when striking the wall.
Therefore, video #449's "gut punishment" segment is actually one of the less intense portions of the presentation. Victor and LS don't seem to be actually trying to injure each other in this exchange; the interaction reminded me of a stern father attempting to discipline a rebellious son. The dynamic is rather endearing.
Victor may be a classic "face," but LS Powerhouse is only a borderline "heel." At a live event, LS would definitely have his share of fans (in much the same way that the Road Warriors were cheered in arenas while the NWA was grooming them as villains). Powerhouse's opponents can expect a battering, but without being subjected to the
humiliating kinkiness of Quinn Harper or the off-the-wall (
literally) violence of Eli Black. I don't expect a second mass exodus of my favorite UCW "finesse" grapplers due to LS's arrival on the scene.
As you may guess, Victor really does it for me -- but Blogger Joe, in typical fashion, seems to be somewhat lukewarm to the slender young heartthrob. You can read Joe's "Ringside at Skull Island" review of match #449 here: "
Powerhouse Touches the Merchandise."
Yes, it was Victor's presence that enticed me to purchase match #449, but LS Powerhouse turned out to be more than just an added bonus. As I and many of my friends deal with impending old age and declining vitality, LS Powerhouse stands out as an ideal -- a rugged alpha male who can not only compete in UCW with absolute credibility, but also dominate whippersnappers less than half his age.
This video -- match #449 -- is a special treat, and it can be purchased at the
UCW wrestling website right over here:
Victor vs. LS Powerhouse. Enjoy.
