UCW's Michael Hannigan: Not A "Paper Champion"

“In my own country I am in a far off land.
I am strong but have no power.
I win all yet remain a loser.
At break of day I say goodnight.
When I lie down I have great fear of falling.”

― Francois Villon

     Ric Flair's championship reign in the NWA was a unique phenomenon. In a profession notorious for throwing prettyboys to the wolves, Flair was the ultimate prettyboy -- replete with long, peroxided hair, sequin ring robes trimmed with ostrich feathers, and pink wrestling gear. Yet, Flair maintained the title longer than any other NWA champion in history. The comparatively slender champion would often take massive punishment during a bout, but would still find some ingenious strategy to hold on to the title. Those who know about Richard Morgan Fliehr's troubled childhood, his adopted status, and the history of the Tennessee Children's Home Society understand the key to his longevity as the NWA Champion:

     Tenacity -- the value of which Flair learned at an early age.

     Neither pure "heel" nor pure "face," Flair's fan receptions varied widely from city to city. When Flair wrestled in the Mid Atlantic region (which included Charlotte, NC -- Flair's adopted home town), he was given a hero's welcome. However when he ventured into territories controlled by other wrestling promoters, Flair often found himself facing the popular local champion and his outsider's status forced him into the role of "heel." In those other cities throughout the nation, Flair was vilified as a "paper champion" whose title reign was protected by the NWA brass and the referees they employed. No matter how many successful title defenses Flair mounted (and Flair was a true "fighting champion," constantly traveling the U.S. and appearing at events sponsored by a vast array of federations), Flair was never given the credit nor the respect he had earned.

     This brings us to Michael Hannigan, the Underground Championship Wrestling (UCW) champion. Like Flair, Hannigan is an unlikely title holder. Over a year ago, Michael was a young man involved in a personal rivalry with another local youth. The feud escalated to the level of violent conflict, and Michael was attacked one day in a Philadelphia area park. Knowing that his nemesis had begun working as an upstart wrestler at UCW, Michael contacted the federation and requested a match. 

     The troubled miscreant who attacked Michael shall remain nameless on this blog, but it suffices to say that he no longer wrestles for UCW. Michael, on the other hand, demonstrated a lion's share of tenacity and began winning matches against a variety of considerably larger, more physically intimidating, and more experienced opponents. When the UCW title became vacant several months ago, Michael was matched against two considerably larger opponents (Erik the Viking and Billy Gunn) in a three-way dance to determine the new UCW champion. Not surprisingly (to anyone familiar with Hannigan and his strength of character), Michael came out victorious. (Note: this championship match comprises UCW video #324, and is available here: http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/combatsecond.html.) 

     Unlike the Nature Boy, UCW Champion Hannigan doesn't brag and boast. As a matter of fact, Michael comes off as so polite and humble that he seems almost shy (an example of Michael being interviewed by UCW wrestler and part owner, Ethan Axel Andrews, is featured on this page: http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/blogarchive.html). In a profession dominated by huge flashing egos, style is often placed above substance, and a quiet, unassuming, skilled grappler like Michael almost seems fated to be underestimated and frequently unappreciated.

     Michael Hannigan's championship reign at UCW has already been tainted by several ugly incidents indicating a general lack of respect among his peers and among certain pundits in the media. One blatant example of the rudeness and "sour grapes" attitude among UCW wrestlers was the construction of a cheaply made, alternative "championship belt" at the beginning of Michael's title reign. Naturally, this belt was the brainchild of misanthropic "heels" in the business like Eli Black and Quinn Harper and was intended to mock Hannigan's status as UCW Champion. Black and Harper's attempts at ridicule recently went up in flames, however, when Ethan Axel Andrews won their tacky belt and set fire to it in his most recent video blog (see the "Inside Scoop" here: http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/index.html), prompting Michael to publicly thank Axel on his Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/michael.hannigan.92351).

     Of course, for a blatant example of disrespect toward Michael coming from one of the media's talking heads, one need look no further than here: 

 

 

Ringside at Skull Island: Do What You Gotta Do: One sign of Michael Hannigan's growing arrogance is the way he taunts ref Quinn Harper over the fact that newcome...

 

     Yes, it's that "Ringside at Skull Island" guy again, blogger Joe. I have long been incensed by the lack of respect accorded to Michael, but I didn't get worked up enough to blog about it until I saw Joe's piece. Just look at the opening sentence, "One sign of Michael Hannigan's growing arrogance..." Then it all goes downhill from there.

     Only Joe could use "Michael Hannigan" and "arrogance" in the same sentence with a clear conscience. After all, this is the same blogger who called wholesome UCW boy-next-door Johnny Deep "a vicious sadist" who deserved his recent, horrific beating at the hands of the maniacal Eli Black (video #336, available here: http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/videolatest.html). Now, in his review of the very next UCW offering, Joe bashes Hannigan, another of the most decent human beings  involved with UCW. Not surprisingly, in the same article, Joe says of the villainous Quinn Harper: "I can't hide the fact that I like the guy." It's nice to know that UCW has its very own "heel" blogger, but I'll try to strike a counterbalance whenever possible.

     I have never met this Joe fellow, but I know that he has strong beliefs concerning politics, as well as sports entertainment. I often wondered what chatting with him about various public figures would be like. Pope Francis? Joe would probably call him, "still heel-curious, in search of new boundaries to cross in his slow but hardly certain rise to villainy" (those were Joe's actual words in reference to Ethan Axel Andrews, the UCW's primary source of goodness, sweetness, and light -- http://ringsideatskullisland.blogspot.com/2014/02/axels-school-of-hard-knocks.html ).

     Now, for those of you who have already read the "Ringside at Skull Island" review of the Michael Hannigan vs. "Ice" Burg match, you probably have no idea what actually transpired during this encounter. Joe's perspective on this wrestling match comes from some bizarre parallel universe -- one with which I'm totally unfamiliar, and would never want to visit.

     Here's what actually happened in the Hannigan vs. Ice Burg match:

     Michael Hannigan totally dominated. This was as close to a "squash" delivered by a UCW "face" that I've ever seen. Within the first few minutes, Ice Burg submits. Does the match end?

     Of course not, because Quinn Harper is a complete joke as a UCW official. Harper refuses to acknowledge Ice Burg's multiple submissions. Harper concocts bogus shoulder injuries that prohibit him from counting when Hannigan repeatedly forces Ice's shoulders to the mat for what seems like 10-second pins.

     Pro wrestling has sometimes been derisively called, "America's longest running vaudeville routine," and Harper's clownish refereeing lends credence to that criticism. At one point, Harper even covers Ice's mouth to prevent him from submitting. "Bodyslam" Michael must be responsible for putting a zebra shirt on Harper, because I know that Ethan Axel Andrews would never tolerate such ineptitude and injustice.

     Speaking of Axel, the UCW hunk met Ice Burg in a previous match (video #310 -- http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/combatsecond.html) and the rugged rookie gave Axel all he could handle (and then some). It's only testimony to Michael Hannigan's championship-worthy mat skills that Ice is able to mount virtually no offense in this encounter.

     When the smoke clears, Harper's "ends justify the means" brand of Social Darwinism (or, as Joe would say, "Do What You Gotta Do") leads to its inevitable conclusion (which may or may not leave you with a sense of smug satisfaction, depending on where your loyalties lie).

     The Michael Hannigan vs "Ice" Burg match is UCW video #337, and it's available here: http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/index.html.

UCW's Johnny Deep vs. Eli Black: Update

“THROUGH me you pass into the city of woe:   
Through me you pass into eternal pain:   
Through me among the people lost for aye.   
Justice the founder of my fabric moved:   
To rear me was the task of Power divine,
Supremest Wisdom, and primeval Love.
Before me things create were none, save things   
Eternal, and eternal I endure.   
All hope abandon, ye who enter here.”

-- Dante Alighieri

    "The Divine Comedy"

     In my last post, I mentioned that I still hadn't viewed the final three minutes of this UCW match (#336 -- available at http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/). I was hoping for some faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Instead this video concludes with a finale similar to that of a horror film in which the leading man is slowly murdered, and then his lifeless body is desecrated by a rabid psychopath.

     By this point, I was grasping at straws. Just seeing Johnny able to rise from the mat and walk away on his own volition would have mitigated the overwhelming sense of defeat. This was not to be.

     Leading up to the bout's finish, Johnny had been rendered helpless and was unable to defend himself for an extended period. Eli Black was pummeling Johnny's newly muscular physique, paying particular attention to the groin area. Time and time again, a low blow would find its mark, causing Johnny to repeatedly cry out, "Oh, God!" Clearly, the jealous thug was targeting the source of the teen hunk's sex appeal. After a while, Johnny resorted to shielding that portion of his anatomy, not even attempting to deflect blows to other areas of his body. 

     It should be noted that UCW wrestlers are required to display feistiness, even in the face of overwhelming odds (for example, competitors often succumb to sleeper holds rather than tapping out). Johnny seemed to know what was expected of him and, incredibly, he defiantly flipped off Eli in the middle of a beating. This, of course, further enraged his tormentor and Johnny gamely endured retribution for such audacity.

     During one point in the proceedings, Eli unexpectedly procured a referee's shirt and dressed a limp, dazed Johnny in it, saying, "This is for your next gig." This is an allusion to the previously released UCW offering, video #332 "Eli Black vs Michael Hannigan w/Johnny as Ref" (proving that this video was shot out of sequence). By the way, Johnny was attacked by Eli in #332 also, prompting UCW Champion Michael Hannigan to post a video on his Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/michael.hannigan.92351) concerning the incident. Obviously, there are some crazy UCW fans (http://www.blogger.com/profile/03931398523674902390) who might have been inclined to think Johnny deserved that beating, too -- since he retaliated after being punched while officiating. Hannigan had to publicly issue a statement in support of Johnny to set the record straight.
     At first I was puzzled about the referee's shirt. Granted, it was designed to be sexy (sleeveless with an open front) but a shirtless Johnny (especially with that ripped physique) would probably boost video sales. Then I realized that Johnny spent many of the final minutes of this bout prone on the canvas. Why is this a factor?
     Well, Johnny -- if you're reading this -- I want you to know I'm mad at you, son. As a matter of fact, I'm as angry as I could possibly be with you -- that's not much, but still...
     ...you see, gentle reader, Johnny made a very foolish decision a while ago. I can just imagine how it all happened. Most likely, Johnny was in the company of some "friends" shortly after his eighteenth birthday. They probably told him, "Hey Johnny, you're a man now. You should get some ink." Johnny probably responded with, "Um, gee, okay." Thus Johnny's associates were able to deface one of humankind's few examples of perfection. Johnny agreed to a huge, unattractive tattoo that covers his back. Realizing this would undercut Johnny's wholesome image, UCW avoids featuring the tattoo prominently in all of their materials (videos and photos). In this context, the procurement of the referee's shirt made sense.

     At any rate, Johnny eventually was knocked out cold by a diabolically imaginative Eli Black finishing maneuver, but the abuse didn't end there. Eli chose to execute the maneuver a second time on his still unconscious rival. Sure, it was overkill but that's Eli's style.
     Circumstances appeared to be as dire as they could possibly be. How could they get any worse?
     This is how:
     Eli Black looked directly into the camera, addressed Johnny's fans, and made the obscene gesture known as a bras d'honneur. Then, with Johnny's still motionless body only inches away, Eli promised to do the same to my first UCW love, Ethan Axel Andrews. With that threat, the video ends.

"The horror! The horror! ... Exterminate all the brutes!”

-- Joseph Conrad

    "Heart of Darkness"

UCW's Johnny Deep: I Want The Young American

                                                            "Young Americans"

They pulled in just behind the bridge
He lays her down, he frowns
"Gee my life's a funny thing, am I
still too young?"
He kissed her then and there
She took his ring, took his babies
It took him minutes, took her nowhere
Heaven knows, she'd have taken anything, but

All night
She wants the young American
Young American, young American, she wants the young American
All right
She wants the young American

Scanning life through the picture
window
She finds the slinky vagabond
He coughs as he passes her Ford
Mustang, but
Heaven forbid, she'll take anything
But the freak, and his type, all for
nothing
He misses a step and cuts his hand, but
Showing nothing, he swoops like a song
She cries "Where have all Papa's heroes gone?"

All the way from Washington
Her bread-winner begs off the bathroom floor
We live for just these twenty years
Do we have to die for the fifty more?"

All night
He wants the young American
Young American, young American,
he wants the young American
All right
He wants the young American

Do you remember, your President Nixon?
Do you remember, the bills you have to pay?
Or even yesterday?
Have been the un-American?
Just you and your idol sing falsetto
'bout Leather, leather everywhere, and
Not a myth left from the ghetto
Well, well, well, would you carry a razor
In case, just in case of depression?
Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors
Blushing at all the afro-Sheeners
Ain't that close to love?
Well, ain't that poster love?
Well, it ain't that Barbie doll
Her hearts have been broken just like you

All night
You want the young American
Young American, young American, you want the young American
All right
You want the young American

You ain't a pimp and you ain't a hustler
A pimp's got a Cadi and a lady got a Chrysler
Black's got respect, and white's got his soul train
Mama's got cramps, and look at your hands ache
(I heard the news today, oh boy)
I got a suite and you got defeat
Ain't there a man who can say no more?
And, ain't there a woman I can
sock on the jaw?
And, ain't there a child I can hold without judging?
Ain't there a pen that will write before they die?
Ain't you proud that you've still got faces?
Ain't there one damn song that can make me
break down and cry?

All night
I want the young American
Young American, young American, I want the young American
All right
I want the young American 

     Oh Johnny, you had me at "hello."
     Actually, you had me at "What's up, man?" -- which are the first words (after a few, charming, adolescent shrugs and smiles) that Johnny Deep says to his opponent, Eli Black, in the latest Underground Championship Wrestling (UCW) video offering (#336). Then, during the customary, prematch, trash talking banter, Johnny totally breaks up in boyish laughter when Eli steps on his lines. Just thinking about Johnny's endearing qualities is warming my heart at this very moment, and it makes what transpires during this match even more difficult to deal with, on a purely emotional level.
     Now, I happen to know that Ethan Axel Andrews (UCW's top wrestler -- and 50% owner of the company) has very little patience with that breed of wrestling fans known as "marks," so let me give you a little personal background before he (or anyone else) hangs that label on me.
     I first started watching pro wrestling when I was nine years old. Even at that tender age, I experienced a powerful, visceral reaction when I'd see certain wrestlers (often young and good looking) seemingly get beaten to bloody pulps as the callous wrestling fans hooted and hollered. As a little kid, I'd become upset; I'd stare in fascination at the TV screen, just wishing I could somehow come to the rescue of those rookie grapplers.
     As I entered adolescence, I remained a pro wrestling fan, at least on the surface. However, deep inside, I was really just a fan of those handsome, vulnerable "jobbers" and I considered the actual spectacle of  the WWF to be ludicrously corny and frequently offensive. I felt awkward about having these feelings. My rugged (yet caring) father often spoke of "being a man." I couldn't fathom the concept of any "real man" feeling aroused by guys in skimpy wrestling trunks rolling around on the canvas.
     Throughout my young adult years, I suffered through the tedious WWF/WWE story lines just to see the hot guys in action. I wished for a pro wrestling federation that catered exclusively to a gay clientele, but that seemed like a farfetched concept at the time...
     ...which brings us to the present day and my current affection for UCW. You see, I'm not truly a "mark."
Why, even Ethan Axel Andrews himself told me, "You're better than a mark" (gee thanks, Axel). I understand the "entertainment" factor that exists in "sports entertainment." However, I feel what I feel. It's really the same dynamic that existed when I was a child in the fourth grade, and it's not about to change.
     For me, this most recent Johnny Deep vs. Eli Black encounter has all the elements of a dream/nightmare come true. This match is a "dream" as an erotic fantasy and a "nightmare" as a depiction of brutal bullying. Once again, I'm that 9-year-old kid staring at a computer (not TV) screen, just wishing I had been on the scene at that video taping to save Johnny from this torment -- somehow.
     To tell the truth, I didn't really pay attention to Johnny Deep when he first burst upon the UCW scene about a year ago. Deep was cute, but he seemed too immature (I learned from Joe, the blogger for "Ringside at Skull Island," that Johnny was still in high school when he made his debut). Besides, Deep had a ready-made fan base as soon as he stepped into the federation. It all seemed to come too easy for Johnny, and that annoyed me. Furthermore, Axel was my UCW fave and paying attention to Johnny would have seemed like disloyalty. On top of all this, Johnny sported a short, nondescript hairstyle (and, as Axel can tell you, I really hate short hair).
     However, Johnny's cuteness did impress me (and also blogger Joe, who covered Deep's first match with an entry entitled, "Too Cute To Live") enough for me to ask Axel if he felt any attraction to the rookie sensation. Axel responded with typical diplomacy, "Well, I heard him talk and he seemed like a kid." Those were my sentiments, exactly.
     Nowadays I couldn't ignore Johnny Deep if my life depended on it. Johnny has matured into the personification of my ideal. For Johnny, the difference between being a college freshman and a high school senior is huge, yet he still has all the appeal of a teenager. I suppose you could say Johnny appears less innocent now (in his initial UCW interview, Deep blithely uttered remarks like "I know I'm sexy" with a touching lack of self-consciousness). 
     However, I've never appreciated, or even grasped, the entire concept of innocence. What is innocence? Technically, I suppose, innocence is the absence of guilt. Most people just seem to equate innocence with naivete. If that's the case, shouldn't guiltiness be equated with wisdom?
     Well, Johnny Deep now seems to possess more than a bit of street wisdom and worldliness. For me, that's hot. Secondly, Johnny (who had a typical swimmer's build a year ago) has bulked up with considerable (but not grotesque) muscle. For me, that's even hotter. Thirdly, Johnny's hair is now longer and very attractively styled. All in all, Johnny has the total package -- an adorable face, a killer body, and a winning personality.
     Yet there are many really cute wrestlers active in the gay-oriented federations, and I've never felt the need to create a blog so I could post about one. What motivated me this time? THIS:

 Ringside at Skull Island: Trapped Like a Rat: "You got a lot more muscles since the last time I did this to you." So says the suave, unruffabl...

      Joe, how could you? That's a photo of Johnny trapped in a metal folding chair, being brutalized by this monster, Eli Black -- and you caption it with the title of your blog entry, "Trapped Like a Rat." To me, this is one of the most heart-rending images ever captured, and it elicits snide remarks from you? That scene occurs at the midway point of the video, and it prompted me to hit "stop." I didn't even view the rest of the match until about 24 hours later.
     You say that Johnny actually deserved this treatment? Why? Oh, I see -- "The guy's a vicious sadist, as I have pointed out before in these pages and as he again demonstrates at about the nine-minute mark of this video." Johnny is a vicious sadist??? Well, what did Johnny do at the nine-minute mark? After a sneak attack (while attempting to shake hands before the match -- a classic error among wrestling's "faces") and prolonged abuse, Johnny finally turned the tables and doled out some punishment of his own. How dare this kid defend himself and fight back like that!
     Joe, you and I are light-years apart when it comes to how we perceive pro wrestling (and probably how we perceive the world in general). Am I taking all of this too seriously? Well, if I am, then Joe is guilty of the same offense. Joe is the guy who manages to reference "the representation of the underclass as bullies," "UCW's usual 'working-class' ethos," and even his own "radical socialist" political beliefs in a blog entry about another UCW match (http://ringsideatskullisland.blogspot.com/2013/04/heelness-of-your-mother-sucks-cocks-in.html) 
     Clearly, Joe is on the side of the "heels" in pro wrestling, just as he serves as an apologist for brutal thugs in real life -- especially when they happen to be involved in conflicts with "company men" who see themselves as "their vastly more capable and morally superior masters" (more of Joe's phraseology). It is impossible to separate one's world view from the manner in which one relates to entertainment (be it film, novels -- or sports entertainment). Only a man with a skewed view of society could author a blog entry about the Deep vs. Black beatdown in language that borders on sadistic glee (and even crosses the line, in several instances). The word that Joe used to describe Johnny in the final paragraph of his article was appallingly uncalled for, and won't be repeated here.
     Twenty-eight minutes into the video, I hit the "stop" button again (and I still haven't viewed the match's final three minutes as of this writing). There's a bit of a twist that ratchets up the brutality at the end of this video. Neither Joe's blog nor the UCW previews give potential viewers any clues about this added dimension of cruelty. Suffice to say, if you want to see a flawlessly beautiful guy in a predicament that breaks your heart and that makes you want to love him and prevent him from experiencing any further negativity for the rest of his life -- then this is the video for you. 
     As for Eli Black -- well, what can I say? Eli presents us with a perfect contrast to Johnny. In other words, to really appreciate good, one must encounter evil. Despite Joe's descriptions to the contrary ("UCW-Wrestling seems to find its wrestlers at the Hello Kitty department at Macy's" a comment from his blog about the first Deep vs. Black match: http://ringsideatskullisland.blogspot.com/2013/03/too-cute-to-live.html), the UCW "faces" are not  one-dimensional prettyboys. Johnny Deep mixes masculine aggressiveness with sensitivity; that's what makes him special. On the other hand, Eli Black is pure, unadulterated testosterone. While Johnny's face is marvelously expressive, Eli's face is chiseled granite. Eli even gives us a running commentary as he tortures Johnny ("Oh, there seems to be some overlapping here," as Eli pretends to be a dentist "examining" our young hero's teeth, right before trying to rip one out with his bare hands) that betrays a certain level of intelligence and that makes his primitive savagery all the more unforgivable.
     Johnny gives us a running commentary, too, describing his deteriorating physical state throughout the match so poignantly that you'll want to put your arms around this hapless hunk and hold him for...well, forever. At one point, after absorbing harrowing below-the-belt punishment (extreme by even UCW standards), Johnny moans, "My nuts hurt." Does Eli respond as most of us would, with a remark like, "Oh you poor thing! Let me kiss them and make them all better!"? Why, certainly not. Eli barks, "Shut-up!" and punishes the young god even more.
     To sum up, this video is as horrific as it is hot, depicting the type of painful and humiliating treatment that beautiful young guys frequently experience in real life at the hands of their jealous cohorts. Excused by cliches like "Boys will be boys" and "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (it actually makes you weaker, emotionally scarred, and loaded with self-destructive baggage), similar scenes play out daily in schoolyards, neighborhood streets, and even the family home. This is sports entertainment, but life often imitates art.
     Johnny Deep, we love you. Eli Black, you only succeeded in making us love Johnny more intensely. For those in the market for a truly traumatic turn-on, the Deep vs. Black video can be purchased here: http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/