Birthday & Farewell Wishes To UCW's Johnny Deep

I'll be alone each and every night
While you're away, don't forget to write
Bye-bye, so long, farewell
Bye-bye, so long
See you in September
See you when the summer's through
Here we are (bye, baby, goodbye)
Saying goodbye at the station (bye, baby, goodbye)
Summer vacation (bye, baby bye, baby)
Is taking you away (bye, baby, goodbye)
Have a good time but remember
There is danger in the summer moon above
Will I see you in September
Or lose you to a summer love
(counting the days 'til I'll be with you)
(counting the hours and the minutes, too)
Bye, baby, goodbye
Bye, baby, goodbye
Bye, baby, goodbye (bye-bye, so long, farewell)
Bye, baby, goodbye (bye-bye, so long)
Have a good time but remember
There is danger in the summer moon above
Will I see you in September
Or lose you to a summer love
(I'll be alone each and every night)
(While you're away, don't forget to write)
See you (bye-bye, so long, farewell)
In September (bye-bye, so long, farewell)
I'm hopin' I'll
See you (bye-bye, so long, farewell)
In September (bye-bye, so long, farewell)
Well, maybe I'll
See you (bye-bye, so long, farewell)
In September (bye-bye, so long, farewell)

     Today typifies the concept of a "bittersweet moment." It is the birthday of UCW wrestler Johnny Deep, the rising star who revitalized that federation and many of our lives. (Johnny's most recent appearance, an oil match against Asian star Hiro, created a fan response which UCW founder "Bodyslam" Michael called, "Kinda crazy.") Still in all, we UCW fans were greeted with this melancholy news via a post on Bodyslam's Facebook account last night, on the eve of the celebratory event:

     Now, while the prospects of Damien Shamrock and Michael Hannigan becoming a UCW tag team are enticing (I can envision it now -- clad in Kelly green, the Flawless Shamrocks take on the aptly named Black-Day contingent), nothing can compensate for the profound sense of loss we'll experience during a Johnny Deep summertime hiatus.

     We must ask ourselves, "Will Johnny really return to UCW in the fall?" If so, will he be the same charismatic Johnny?

     To be sure, the magic that Johnny possesses is ephemeral. Most grapplers lose their boyish charm in a relatively short period of time (ahem, Eli). The lone exception to this rule seems to be Ethan Axel Andrews, whose longevity as a wholesome, boy-next-door persona is miraculously rare and even slightly eerie. (I strongly suspect that Ethan owns a self-portrait, stored in a closet, which is aging hideously.)

     Chatting with Ethan, one receives the impression that the UCW co-owner always yearned for celebrity status, even as a small-town youth in Wisconsin. Ethan always viewed himself as a celebrity, carried himself like a celebrity, and has now achieved a huge cult following in the underground wrestling scene as a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Ethan's disarming politeness and soft-spoken manner belie a vanity bordering on narcissism, which is also a key to his success. Ethan's egocentric nature prompts him to constantly reinvent himself, and this captures our imagination (stay tuned for his next incarnation, as a hipster blogger).

     On the other hand, Johnny seems to be a reluctant celebrity, at best. We learned from Joe over at "Ringside at Skull Island" that Johnny has a girlfriend. The compartmentalized life that young Johnny leads must be complex, even if his girlfriend is so cool with him grappling for a gay male audience that she suggests new concepts like oil matches. (As a side note, I'd like to mention that I'm continuing to pray for Johnny concerning this entire matter.)

     Furthermore, Johnny's notices in UCW reviews haven't all been laudatory. Skull Island Joe actually once called Johnny a "scumbag" -- a characterization that made us bristle and eventually led to the creation of this blog.

     In all fairness, though, it would be wrong to surmise that Joe's acerbic rhetoric led to Johnny's decision to take a temporary retreat from the mat wars. As a matter of fact, Johnny directly addressed the issue in a piece of correspondence with us: "I don't think Joe doesn't like me as much as I think he sees me as a bad ass and not the good guy I claim to be. Ha Ha I am a good guy but with an inner bad ass."

     Well Johnny, seeing as you're born under the sign of Taurus, you'll have no difficulty convincing us of your "inner bad ass" qualities. Speaking of which, we hope Johnny is having a total blast on this, his birthday. We badgered Johnny with questions about a birthday gift wish-list until he finally broke down and requested a "Stay Calm and Play Lacrosse" t-shirt. (On a personal note, it was a genuine thrill to realize that the real-life Johnny was exactly the sort of young man I'd imagined him to be, lacrosse having recently replaced soccer as the sport of choice among well-bred hunks.)

     Since I've been fair with that old curmudgeon Joe, I suppose I can afford to be fair with myself as well. When I first learned of Johnny's temporary departure from UCW, I wondered if I could have been partly to blame. After all, it was possible that the young man could have become unnerved by all the fawning attention he received in this blog. Then I reviewed our correspondence, noticed the several occasions on which Johnny thanked me for my posts, and my spirits soared.

      

     With Johnny on an extended summer vacation from UCW, the future of this blog remains in limbo. I write when I'm inspired and Johnny was my primary source of inspiration. (All of Johnny's matches are worth purchasing, but #336, in which he portrays a beautiful kid beaten beyond unconsciousness by a sadistic bully named Eli Black, is a must-see that can be purchased here: UCW Wrestling.)

     Besides that, I'm not sure if I'll have time to post any more blog entries. I plan to be busy, attending a broad range of college lacrosse events throughout the greater Philadelphia area...

     Just kidding! Just kidding! Jeez.