UCW Wrestling's Jax Briggs vs. Hiro: Evil Becomes You

     Yes, that's UCW All-Star Champion Jax Briggs talking directly to the fans during match #365. Jax is saying (in reference to Asian star Hiro): "Hey guys, this is Jax. You like to see more of me beating up guys like this? You want to see more, you know where to go. You know who to look for -- Jax." Clearly, this is a dangerous individual -- the type of guy who will shank you if you cross him. This is also the guy I compared to Tinker Bell two blog entries ago. I suppose I should fear for my life now.
     If I am about to meet my somewhat untimely doom, it's all Michael Bodyslam's fault. For some reason, the UCW Wrestling founder chose to release this tape out of sequence. If you listen to Bodyslam's recap of Jax's previous matches right after Jax won was awarded gained the UCW title, you'll learn that match #365 actually was Jax's third match in the federation (right between the loss vs. Quinn Harper -- #356 -- and the tag team victory -- #358).
     This match is the missing piece in the puzzle of Jax's phenomenal and unprecedented rise to the very top of the UCW hierarchy. If you study match #365 (or even just study the three photos I posted here), it becomes obvious that the real Jax is a pretty scary dude. How do we feel about that, UCW fans?

     Yeah, I have to agree. In other words, Jax Briggs, I still love you so don't kill me, okay? Kindly direct your vitriol at the always deserving Blogger Joe, who actually called both you and Hiro girls in his "Ringside at Skull Island" review of this match.
     This is the first match Jax has had against someone he clearly doesn't like. (Jax and Axel are straight-up friends and Jax's relationships with ultra-heels Quinn Harper -- who he seems to consider a mentor -- and Eli Black -- who gave Jax the championship belt in a fit of megalomania -- are too complex to fathom). The animosity between Jax and Hiro is evident as soon as Hiro enters the weight room while Jax is pumping iron. The two wrestlers don't acknowledge each other, and Hiro seems to regard Jax in a smug manner (to say the least).

     The Japanese grappler's coy disrespect antagonizes Jax. When Hiro adds weights to a barbell that Jax just used (with the cameras rolling), our current UCW champ loses his cool. Using the universal language of a sucker punch, Jax begins this fight (#365 was not a scheduled match; both Jax and Hiro were then considered to be UCW "faces").
     I myself have always doubted Hiro's "face" status in UCW anyway. I learned from my good friend, local UCW wrestler Pedro Espada, about the existence of a secret clique within the federation which includes both Hiro and one of the dirtiest, meanest wrestlers in the business. (I won't divulge the name of this secret alliance, but I'll just say that their initials are "M.N." -- in case they ever go public.)
     Furthermore, it should be noted that Hiro is the first combatant in this match to use a weapon -- a broomstick, which he utilizes with insidious glee to attack Jax's manhood.

     As a matter of fact, Jax's manhood seems to be a major preoccupation for Hiro. Two minutes later, Hiro has Jax backed up against a wall and he's at it again.

     (Yes, Hiro is doing exactly what you think he's doing.)
     By the way, the transition from UCW weight room to UCW mat room is really cool...

     The closed fists seem to be thrown with more impact in this match than in any prior UCW production. A choke hold administered by Hiro turns Jax's face bright red. The always excruciating Boston Crabs are maintained for extraordinarily long periods. The overall meanness displayed by these two fighters stands in sharp contrast to Jax's friendly competition vs. Ethan Axel Andrews in the champ's UCW debut.
     In a moment of unintentional irony, Jax traps Hiro in a chin lock and says, "Smile for the camera, prettyboy." As Jax administers the painful maneuver, he looks about as pretty as any wrestler in the sport's history (not intended as an insult, Jax).

     Hiro goes the first ten minutes of this match without speaking a word of decipherable English. One of the first instances of Hiro's proficiency in the language occurs, fittingly, after Hiro reverses a Figure Four leg lock. "How do you like my heel in your balls?" Hiro calmly and politely asks, exhibiting all the detachment of a professional torturer.

     Maybe it's got something to do with some Eastern philosophy, meditating to achieve serenity, trying to reach nirvana or whatever (I can picture Blogger Joe jumping up and down right now, spitting and fuming about "xenophobia"), but Hiro remains eerily (and sinisterly) unemotional throughout this bout. "Do you sub-meet," Hiro quietly inquires as Jax thrashes about in a punishing leg lock. Then Hiro yanks Jax's leg up to an even higher elevation, holding the limb at a level you'll rarely see in any pro wrestling match. "How...about...now? I can't hear you." Hiro sadistically interrogates as Jax yells incoherently.

     UCW wrestlers usually carry on their business without acknowledging the camera's presence. When a wrestler looks directly into the lens, it's often because they have reached their threshold of pain and they're about to call for a break in the filming (as Johnny Deep seemed to be doing when he was trapped in an Ethan Axel Andrews backbreaker during match #316). However, during this match, Hiro frequently plays to the camera, demonstrably gloating when Jax is experiencing maximum pain.

     That bear hug goes on interminably, Jax's abdominal region is increasingly reddened, and Hiro decides to demonstrate his nonchalance about Jax's suffering by whistling a happy tune.

     The creepiness continues as Hiro follows up on the bear hug, placing his foot on the small of Jax's back while pulling Jax's arms, shrieking, "Wheee!" three times in a high pitched voice.

     This is not to imply that this match is a squash by any means. As a matter of fact, this encounter is a see-saw battle to the very end, and the pin is particularly humiliating. (I'd run a photo, but you know what Michael Bodyslam said about spoilers.) This match -- #365 -- is a fascinating study of two UCW "fan favorites" who simply don't like each other. As a result, each of these wrestlers reveals heretofore unseen aspects of his personality that are not in keeping with his UCW persona -- and the dose of harsh reality is refreshing. Currently this is the featured match at the UCW website. Needless to say, it's highly recommended, despite the fact that Blogger Joe saw fit to devote only 210 words to it (yeah, I counted).

Ringside at Skull Island: Good Boys Go Bad: Jax and Hiro are the busiest and most popular new hires at UCW . It was just a matter of time before fan adulation wou...
    
Till next time...see you at the matches.