UCW Wrestling's Vincent Stone & Eli Black vs. The Black Dragon: Something Is Wrong Here

     The video posted above is Cashman & West's brilliant "American City Suite" from 1972, back when New York City was going to hell in a handbasket. From the song, it's undeniably clear that Cashman & West possessed a deep, profound love for NYC, and that's why they were so passionate in their critique of Gotham.
     The analogy I'm trying to make is that I love UCW Wrestling and that's why I don't hesitate to voice my own outrage when I see it heading down the wrong path. Rookie after rookie disappears from that federation, and there's a reason for that. (My Beautiful Precious Johnny Deep -- still featured on UCW's "active" roster -- was supposed to return to competition after the summer. No one mentioned which summer.)
     The "reason" is the influence of the man behind the mask in video #395. UCW founder Michael Bodyslam is adamant about prohibiting me from identifying whichever wrestler happens to be portraying the Black Dragon in any UCW presentation. For those of you who have difficulty clapping your hands without missing, I won't spoil the intrigue; I'll simply remind everyone that #395's Black Dragon is the wrestler who Johnny considered to be the "worst guy" in the company...the blatant sadist who introduced sleaze to the federation and has a propensity for "wrecking prettyboys"...the manipulative, behind-the-scenes Svengali who has been awarded UCW's top honor.
     The four screen caps posted above the "American City Suite" video illustrate why I will never again be able to despise Eli Black to the degree that I once did. Without giving too much away, I'll just say that those pics depict the result of Eli's cockiness and his proclivity for jumping to conclusions. In this case, Eli sincerely regrets those character flaws, and he's not ashamed to display that regret to Vincent as the cameras are rolling.
     In a typical display of hubris, Eli allowed Vincent to compete alone in UCW for the first time, without the benefit of Eli's supervision and guidance. Of course, Vincent was matched against the wrong opponent to face under such circumstances, and the results were disastrous.
     Prior to Eli's departure, there were several events that foreshadowed this match's outcome. Early on (at the 4:26 mark), the Black Dragon showed utter disregard for the fact that he was wrestling on a thin 1.25" mat over a concrete floor, and bodyslammed Vincent with tremendous force. Vincent seemed amazed by the impact. Unable to move, with the wind knocked out of him, Vincent laughed about his predicament. Eli asked, "You alright, Vinnie?" sounding genuinely concerned. Vincent was unable to answer, but the show must go on, and the video continued without an edit.

Vincent applies a leg scissors but is lifted off the mat...

...then slammed HARD (just watch it in slow-mo)

Eager to please, Vinnie seems apologetic that he can't move

     Lest we believe that this slam was an aberration, Vinnie endured two similar slams during the later stages of the match. Note: This Black Dragon performs at indie pro wrestling events in an environment where injuries are de rigueur -- he himself recently received a concussion -- and young grapplers in particular are expected to "pay their dues." Case in point is a 2012 Magnum Pro Wrestling show in Iowa, during which 16-year-old Ryan Kidd was brutalized by 16-year veteran Tony Kozina. According to a description of the match, Kozina "acts like the entire match is a joke for the first few minutes before hitting Kidd (a wrestler who had only been alive as long as Kozina had been in the business, mind you) with several stiff throws, piledrivers and full-contact kicks before locking in an unprotected headscissors, resulting in Kidd legitimately being choked into unconsciousness." Like Vinnie, Ryan Kidd gamely continued on with the performance as long as he could. Here's a video of the encounter...

     (It should be noted that Ryan is still a teenager and still wrestling, despite that horrid experience. You can "like" Ryan's Facebook page here. There are also Ryan Kidd interviews from 2012 posted on YouTube, so you can see just who it was that Kozina chose to bully.)
     Getting back to the destruction of Vinnie, a modified half Boston crab wasn't punishment enough, so the Dragon reverted to a familiar below-the-belt grab -- a maneuver designed to both hurt and humiliate an opponent.

      Yes, the kind of maneuver that would get anyone kicked out of a legitimate fed -- and a few illegitimate ones -- but UCW is undergoing a Golden Age for Heels. Certainly, co-owner Ethan Axel Andrews, anti-bullying crusader and moral compass for the company, would never speak casually about such tactics or utilize them himself...

     ...and we wonder why UCW is losing their best "faces." Also, why cast doubt on Shane's character? Has Shane ever tag teamed with Quinn Harper? You know, when that Bel-Air prep first debuted in UCW, I worried about the jealousy he'd arouse (something similar happened to Johnny, when his popularity eclipsed Eli's). However, I didn't expect the Shane Saunders envy to come from a UCW owner.
     Despite the wayward drift of UCW, Vinnie seems determined to succeed in the federation, and match #395 is no squash. Eli's protegee holds his own against the Dragon even after enduring cannibalism. (By the 1:33 mark, this rabid beast has already bitten Vincent in the buttocks, and it later sinks its fangs into Eli.) Vincent utilizes certain strategies that you typically see in high school matches (no surprise, since Eli was a top HS wrestler in Pennsylvania).

Vinnie loves making eye contact with the camera

     Of course, when Eli was present during this match, it was often fun and games for the two childhood friends.

"Welcome to America, biotch."

"If you can say please get off me in perfect English, I'd be more than happy to."

"Japan muscle? You ever heard of built Ford tough?"

     This match was not reviewed by Ringside at Skull Island, probably because of the countless xenophobic wisecracks uttered by Eli (much to the amusement of his sidekick in the red, white, and blue trunks). Sure, this Black Dragon is a roughneck, nationalistic American himself who's in on the joke, but I knew that wouldn't matter to Blogger Joe. I almost made some snide remark about "Miss Political Correctness," but then I read Joe's most recent blog entry, entitled, "Finisher."
     Yes, it's true, ladies and gentlemen. Joe is finally calling it quits -- and no, I'm not happy about it. I don't suppose Joe ever really gave a damn about what I've written in this blog...but if any of my quips played even a minor role in Joe's decision, I feel guilty about that.
     The fact is that I've always had immense respect for Joe as a reviewer, although I never let on to that fact. It's my nature to play the devil's advocate, and Joe gave me plenty of fodder for my own articles. As a matter of fact, if Joe hadn't pissed me off to such a degree when he reviewed match #336 then I would have never started writing about UCW. In a very real sense, if there had been no Ringside at Skull Island, there would be no Old Freddie Young's Blog.
     Joe, if you read this, I hope you reconsider. You have a very rare gift of eloquence and the fact that you used that talent to promote the underground wrestling scene was special. You're providing us with a very valuable service and if we haven't always shown our appreciation -- well, I hope it's not too late.
     At any rate, the Vincent Stone & Eli Black vs. Black Dragon match is video #395, and it's available for download here: http://www.ucw-wrestling.com/videolatest2.html. Let's support UCW and show our gratitude toward the guys who give us this gift.

UCW Wrestling's Ethan Axel Andrews & Michael Hannigan vs. Eli Black & Diego Valentino: The Gay-Straight Connection

An early Happy 29th Birthday to you, Ethan...

     Well, Ethan Axel Andrews just came out in a blog post published yesterday (publicly, that is -- Ethan came out to family several months ago). Now on his second boyfriend, Ethan had teased us with talk about being "taken" and having "a friend" but, naive me -- I really thought he was in a relationship with a woman. Oh, and speaking of teasing us...Blogger Joe gave us a hint way back in 2012 with another one of his (in)famous double entendres. Yes, this is the same Ethan who, only a year ago, was posting his profile on fight sites with the caveat, "Not looking for a boyfriend. Sorry, guys." Well, Old Freddie (unlike Blogger Joe) is never privy to UCW inside info...but he does have a theory or two. Ethan told me that his "type" were guys who were "built up." Now, IF boyfriend #1 was a wrestler...and he worked for UCW...and he was the muscular type...and he and Ethan enjoyed activities outside of UCW (e.g., Pennsylvania Warrior Dash 2014)...and then he just disappeared...I might be able to take a wild guess as to his identity.
     Well, Ethan wants to safeguard his privacy; he'll let us in part way, then giggle and shut the door (a trait he seems to share with his tag team partner Michael Hannigan). At any rate, Michael Hannigan (if you've been wondering, and you just might have been) is straight. Michael posted on Facebook recently about "a new member to the Hannigan family coming soon" to which UCW founder Bodyslam responded, "You?? Daddy Hannigan??"

     The current (for a few more hours at least) new release at UCW Wrestling is match #394 which pits Ethan and Michael (who I've cavalierly dubbed "The Gay-Straight Connection") against the repugnant Eli Black and confused, misguided (he acquiesced to be Eli's tag partner) Diego Valentino (who gets about as much respect in UCW as the dearly departed Hunter Day -- Ethan dismisses him as "that -- whatever that is," relegating Diego to inanimate object status). Oh yes, the referee is my friend and pen pal, Vincent Stone.
     You'll notice that I've resumed describing Eli in starkly negative terms, because he deserves it. Eli treats everyone, including his tag partners, like dirt. The ONLY exception to this rule is Vincent Stone. It's monumentally touching to see Eli turn human when he's interacting with his childhood friend, but being decent to one human being on the entire planet doesn't mean that you no longer qualify as horrid.

     Vincent is totally loyal to Eli, and that may be why Eli has befriended him. In recent correspondence, I told Vincent that I was lobbying for his return to UCW (after Vincent was branded by the fed as "in need of more training"). Vincent replied, "Hi. I guess it helped, man. I did just do a match with my buddy Eli in my corner. I also had my first MMA fight and lost but Eli said I did well and I will do better next time." (That return match is #395, which may already be the featured video at the UCW website by the time this blog entry gets published.)
     Eli called Vince "the perfect combination of a 'face' and a 'heel'" during a recent "Inside Scoop" video blog, and there is something refreshing about the young man's presence in UCW (Axel mentions Vincent's "popularity" in the current "Inside Scoop"). Without giving away the outcome of match #394, I'll simply say that the manner in which Vincent announces the winner is charming due to his good-natured, guileless personality.
     Originally, this blog entry was going to take an entirely different tack (no, that's not a typo). You see, Blogger Joe has already written a review of this match, and I read it before downloading the video (another huge, high def, 2GB file BTW). As a matter of fact, I actually "liked" the Facebook announcement of this review, due mainly to Joe's opening sentence, "At UCW I can barely tell the heroes from the villains."
     This has long been a major gripe of my own. As a matter of fact, UCW's last release featured the usually virtuous Michael Hannigan behaving like a total "heel" as he wrestled the gorgeous young hero, Shane Saunders. Furthermore, Ethan Axel Andrews (UCW's ultimate "face" and anti-bullying crusader) sank down into the depths of depravity during his last tag team encounter vs. Eli (match #381, which Joe correctly references in his current review as that "excellent match from November"). In #381, Ethan joined forces with the odious UCW All-Star Champion, Quinn Harper, and brutalized Eli in one of the ugliest segments ever depicted by this federation. (Serious note to the world in general: brutality doesn't rehabilitate anyone.)

From match #381 -- Ethan abandons his anti-bullying principles

     Therefore, my original theme for this review was going to be a discussion of UCW "faces" degenerating into "heels" due to the federation's "no rules" philosophy. Judging from Blogger Joe's review, I anticipated finding quite a bit of villainous behavior on the part of Ethan and Michael.
     Then I actually viewed match #394 and -- surprise!!! -- the video bore absolutely no resemblance to Blogger Joe's senile ramblings. In match #394, Ethan and Michael behave like choir boys (as all "faces" should) while Eli and Diego are total miscreants. I was left without a topic until Ethan "came out" and saved the day.

      It's interesting to note Eli's varied reactions toward Ethan and toward Michael. When Ethan goes on the attack, Eli seems to take it in stride. However, Michael's offensive showings are treated by Eli as an affront to his dignity, and he immediately retaliates. Michael is an aggressive, heterosexual male, without Eli's meanness and anger. The interaction between Eli and Michael is similar to what you'd expect from any pair of highly competitive, straight males (and it mirrors, in large degree, the mat interaction between Eli and Johnny or Eli and Jax). As a result, Michael suffers a great deal of pain in this match, and those scenes make a lasting impression on the viewer.

Ethan can't even watch.

       Speaking of Michael, those scenes displaying his vulnerability to Eli's ruthless temperament enable us to once again view Michael in a sympathetic light -- and appreciate his smoking hot bod. From the waist down (strong legs, juicy butt, and alabaster, perfectly formed feet -- Old Freddie wouldn't know about any other portion of his anatomy down there, unfortunately), Michael is as sexy as UCW wrestler around (and that's saying plenty).

     Joe does make a valid point when he states, "At UCW...the tag team matches are often the company's best bets for entertainment." Like match #381, this match is basically a lighthearted romp (frequent smiles all around) with the macho cruelty of Eli -- and the sweet, soulful suffering of Michael -- spicing up the brew. There is a surprise ending, sort of (if one is familiar with UCW history, it may not come as a total shock) and the close bond between Eli and Vince is always fascinating. The now "out and proud" Ethan Axel Andrews competing with his heterosexual peers provides yet another intriguing dimension to the production. Of course, the video quality is state-of-the-art, thanks to UCW's new technology. All in all, video #394 receives an XOXOXOXO -- four hugs-and-kisses out of a perfect five (as represented by match #336, the hottest wrestling match ever produced by anyone). This hectic tag-team encounter is available for download right here -- if you're reading this soon after I've posted it. If not, you'll have to navigate the UCW website, clicking on various "More Videos" buttons (but don't despair -- the search will be worth it).

    

UCW Wrestling's Michael Hannigan vs. Shane Saunders: "Ringside at Skull Island" Sucks

   
     Blogger Joe already reviewed this match. Joe knew that something was happening, but he didn't know what it was.
     Well, you need evil in order to appreciate good, you need "heels" in order to appreciate "faces," and you need Ringside at Skull Island in order to appreciate Old Freddie Young's Blog. Actually, if Joe hadn't pissed me off so much by calling my all-time favorite wrestler, Johnny Deep (MBPJD), a "scumbag," then there would be no Old Freddie Young's Blog at all.
     I posted the above pic to demonstrate a custom which Joe thinks became extinct 50 years ago -- two young men shaking hands before an athletic competition. I don't know who Joe hangs out with or how his "community college disciples" greet each other, and I don't really want to consider the possibilities. My imagination would run wild and lead me down dark avenues I don't want to traverse. Just the fact that Joe described Shane and Michael as "good boys who like hurting other boys, typical boy stuff" gives me the willies.
     On top of pulling the boneheaded move of using the logo on Hannigan's t-shirt* as the title of his review (with no explanation), Joe totally missed the big story behind the release of video #393 -- namely, the fact that UCW Wrestling has monumentally upped their game by producing HQ vids. This 25 minute video is 1.5 GB, a 1440 x 1080 vid with an 8320 kbps bitrate (by contrast, the last UCW video I downloaded, #391, was 40 minutes but only 387 MB, a 768 x 432 vid with a 1987 kbps bitrate). This major improvement in video quality is huge, and I'm flabbergasted that Joe failed to mention it. I'm not overly influenced by a video's (or a photograph's) technical aspects (just give me clear images that celebrate and immortalize examples of male beauty), but many consumers are (some refused to buy old UCW videos because the blue tarp-covered walls weren't "aesthetically pleasing") and this boost in HD quality should significantly boost sales.
     However, I must say that the aspect ratio of this video is slightly skewed (as if a video shot in widescreen [16:9] mode was processed in standard [4:3] mode -- highly possible, since I think Bodyslam and Ethan are using Windows Movie Maker for editing) but that flaw is only obvious in the opening scene, for some reason. At any rate, if you've ever yearned to see Shane Saunders vertically elongated, this vid is for you! (Oh, I'm so ashamed of myself; I promised I'd leave the lewd double-entendres to Ringside.)
     Since Joe gets moist over muscles, it's no surprise that he'd prefer Shane to Michael. However, when Joe describes Shane's "fleshed out" build, he notes Shane's "well-developed legs," seemingly oblivious to the fact that Hannigan's legs are just as muscular. (Shane has it in the "sexy trunk" department, though -- can't deny that.)
     Joe says, "I can't remember seeing Michael this sure of himself ... and talkative," which indicates that the absent-minded professor must have forgotten match #337. It's true that Michael was virtually silent during his recent appearance in match #370, but that was probably due to the intimidating, overbearing, alpha male influence of Joe's buddy, Quinn Harper. (I can just picture Quinn Harper before that match: "Okay, Michael, I hate to say it, but you've got no mic skills whatsoever, so just keep your mouth shut during this match and I'll handle the commentary.")
     Okay, I think I'm finished eviscerating Blogger Joe for now, so let me get on with my impressions of this match.
     Then again, maybe not. Here's Robert Zimmerman again, back when he was young and pretty (your friend Harper would probably want to beat him up), singing your song, Joe. Enjoy.

     There. Got that off my chest. Now where were we...
     Michael Hannigan screwed himself out of the All-Star title when he embraced (wholeheartedly) UCW's "no rules" philosophy as dictated by Bodyslam (and unopposed by Ethan). Therefore, Hannigan was the last decent, virtuous champion to represent the fed, and we've had nothing but monsters ever since (not counting Jax Briggs**, who was simply "given" the title by Eli Black in an ill-conceived scheme designed to put Eli in the record book as UCW's first two-time champion). Hannigan adopting a ruthless, win-at-all-costs attitude runs contrary to who he is, both in UCW and in his personal life (a volunteer firefighter and an all-around likable product of a loving, supportive, tight-knit, blue-collar family).
     In match #393, Hannigan is a "heel," pure and simple. During the intros, Michael (who is known in UCW circles for his sense of humor -- Damien Flawless, himself a stand-up comedian, particularly enjoyed spending time with Hannigan) decides to pose and flex in mockery of Shane "the muscleboy." Shane is so amused by Michael's performance that he momentarily relaxes -- and Hannigan takes that opportunity to cheapshot him.

      Call me old fashioned, but in my day, a pro wrestling "face" would never take advantage of an opponent's injury; such behavior was the exclusive realm of "heels." In match #393, Shane competes with a bandaged right knee and Michael targets it repeatedly (often using a closed fist). As a matter of fact, the moments when Michael is most successful in getting Shane to register on-camera reactions to pain occur when Shane's knee injury is being aggravated.

     Speaking of injuries, Michael is confused about Shane's degree of UCW experience ("Is this your first match? Third? Second?"). Considering UCW's penchant for releasing videos out of order, this may well be Shane's debut. Whatever the case, Shane bears no ugly bruises on his left arm. This leads me to conclude that those black-and-blue marks were inflicted later on by Quinn Harper (in matches #386 and #388, which I haven't yet viewed due to my disgust over Harper's presence).
     Oftentimes it seems as though UCW is clueless as to how to best showcase their stars (that was one of Damien Flawless's primary complaints) and this video features an unforgivable faux pas concerning ring attire. I wouldn't give a damn if UCW had Quinn Harper wrestle in overalls, but putting hot guys like Shane Saunders and Michael Hannigan in shorts that extend to their knees is an outrage. Furthermore, Shane and Michael remain in this unflattering garb until the 14:47 mark, when Shane is stripped down to his Calvins*** (and Michael disrobes from his baggy basketball shorts out of camera range, just to be sociable).

     By the way, The Stripping of Shane Saunders (that should have been the title of this video -- good use of alliteration) occurs when Michael places Shane in bondage -- sort of. Michael is totally inept at the bondage game (he's no Nick Diesel) and Shane manages to unshackle his left wrist in seconds. Shane grins and says, "Shit, you can't even tie a knot, dude! You can't even tie!" This mild chastisement is spoken in such a charming manner, Shane's words would have melted the coldest heart -- but not Michael's, in this pro wrestling "heel" incarnation. Instead of joining Shane in self-deprecating laughter, Hannigan goes on the attack.

     It should also be mentioned that Shane struggled so valiantly to avoid this bondage scene, portions were edited out (and, given what happened to Pvt. Jack Marino in #391, that's totally understandable). It was interesting to see Michael on the other side of a bondage segment; the ab punishment that he endured at the hands of Pedro Espada in match #320 (while trapped in the very same restraints) now seems less unfair. (Note: Certain edits in this video could have been the product of time constraints, including the one I just mentioned. It seems as though UCW wanted a high resolution video of manageable size; most of their prior releases ran longer that 25 minutes.)

     All in all, this is a highly entertaining match. Shane is gorgeous and Michael is technically proficient (able to replicate a lengthy repertoire of WWE-style maneuvers to a "t"). This match gets XOXOXOXO -- four hugs and kisses out of a possible five -- a very high score (especially when you consider the fact that most offerings from other federations would receive a "1" or "2" from Old Freddie). My only gripes are the basketball shorts on the boys during the first half, and the fact that Shane is not lying prone on the mat for even a millisecond (that's when I would usually utilize stop-action playback and enjoy some moments of quiet contemplation).

Shane Saunders, with the most expressive feet in UCW.

     As mentioned (several times), this is video #393 and it's available here in high definition so stark and appealing that you'll think the boys are there in the room with you. Oh, and if you're seeking the antidote to those knee-length shorts, lucky you! If you act now (god, I sound like such a huckster), you can still download match #295 for the bargain price of $5 -- that's perennial hotboy Ethan Axel Andrews versus the sexiest wrestler who ever lived, Johnny Deep (MBPJD) in...jocks!!! Download both #393 and #295 from the same page for under $20 -- and tell them Old Freddie sent you. The best value in gay wrestling today!!!

* I actually found Shane's parrot-decorated t-shirt more interesting, because I suspect that it advertises some L.A. area club and it might provide yet another clue as to Shane's exact birthplace. (I'm still guessing Bel Air, based on Eli's comment in video #384.)
** Also not counting Hunter Day, the misguided young man who didn't hold the title long enough to thank his fans for their support. (Hunter was jumped from behind by Eli Black and strangled until he passed out during his first video blog as champion.)
*** Shane's inspiration for this fashion choice is obvious.