UCW Wrestling's Michael Hannigan vs. Shane Saunders: "Ringside at Skull Island" Sucks

   
     Blogger Joe already reviewed this match. Joe knew that something was happening, but he didn't know what it was.
     Well, you need evil in order to appreciate good, you need "heels" in order to appreciate "faces," and you need Ringside at Skull Island in order to appreciate Old Freddie Young's Blog. Actually, if Joe hadn't pissed me off so much by calling my all-time favorite wrestler, Johnny Deep (MBPJD), a "scumbag," then there would be no Old Freddie Young's Blog at all.
     I posted the above pic to demonstrate a custom which Joe thinks became extinct 50 years ago -- two young men shaking hands before an athletic competition. I don't know who Joe hangs out with or how his "community college disciples" greet each other, and I don't really want to consider the possibilities. My imagination would run wild and lead me down dark avenues I don't want to traverse. Just the fact that Joe described Shane and Michael as "good boys who like hurting other boys, typical boy stuff" gives me the willies.
     On top of pulling the boneheaded move of using the logo on Hannigan's t-shirt* as the title of his review (with no explanation), Joe totally missed the big story behind the release of video #393 -- namely, the fact that UCW Wrestling has monumentally upped their game by producing HQ vids. This 25 minute video is 1.5 GB, a 1440 x 1080 vid with an 8320 kbps bitrate (by contrast, the last UCW video I downloaded, #391, was 40 minutes but only 387 MB, a 768 x 432 vid with a 1987 kbps bitrate). This major improvement in video quality is huge, and I'm flabbergasted that Joe failed to mention it. I'm not overly influenced by a video's (or a photograph's) technical aspects (just give me clear images that celebrate and immortalize examples of male beauty), but many consumers are (some refused to buy old UCW videos because the blue tarp-covered walls weren't "aesthetically pleasing") and this boost in HD quality should significantly boost sales.
     However, I must say that the aspect ratio of this video is slightly skewed (as if a video shot in widescreen [16:9] mode was processed in standard [4:3] mode -- highly possible, since I think Bodyslam and Ethan are using Windows Movie Maker for editing) but that flaw is only obvious in the opening scene, for some reason. At any rate, if you've ever yearned to see Shane Saunders vertically elongated, this vid is for you! (Oh, I'm so ashamed of myself; I promised I'd leave the lewd double-entendres to Ringside.)
     Since Joe gets moist over muscles, it's no surprise that he'd prefer Shane to Michael. However, when Joe describes Shane's "fleshed out" build, he notes Shane's "well-developed legs," seemingly oblivious to the fact that Hannigan's legs are just as muscular. (Shane has it in the "sexy trunk" department, though -- can't deny that.)
     Joe says, "I can't remember seeing Michael this sure of himself ... and talkative," which indicates that the absent-minded professor must have forgotten match #337. It's true that Michael was virtually silent during his recent appearance in match #370, but that was probably due to the intimidating, overbearing, alpha male influence of Joe's buddy, Quinn Harper. (I can just picture Quinn Harper before that match: "Okay, Michael, I hate to say it, but you've got no mic skills whatsoever, so just keep your mouth shut during this match and I'll handle the commentary.")
     Okay, I think I'm finished eviscerating Blogger Joe for now, so let me get on with my impressions of this match.
     Then again, maybe not. Here's Robert Zimmerman again, back when he was young and pretty (your friend Harper would probably want to beat him up), singing your song, Joe. Enjoy.

     There. Got that off my chest. Now where were we...
     Michael Hannigan screwed himself out of the All-Star title when he embraced (wholeheartedly) UCW's "no rules" philosophy as dictated by Bodyslam (and unopposed by Ethan). Therefore, Hannigan was the last decent, virtuous champion to represent the fed, and we've had nothing but monsters ever since (not counting Jax Briggs**, who was simply "given" the title by Eli Black in an ill-conceived scheme designed to put Eli in the record book as UCW's first two-time champion). Hannigan adopting a ruthless, win-at-all-costs attitude runs contrary to who he is, both in UCW and in his personal life (a volunteer firefighter and an all-around likable product of a loving, supportive, tight-knit, blue-collar family).
     In match #393, Hannigan is a "heel," pure and simple. During the intros, Michael (who is known in UCW circles for his sense of humor -- Damien Flawless, himself a stand-up comedian, particularly enjoyed spending time with Hannigan) decides to pose and flex in mockery of Shane "the muscleboy." Shane is so amused by Michael's performance that he momentarily relaxes -- and Hannigan takes that opportunity to cheapshot him.

      Call me old fashioned, but in my day, a pro wrestling "face" would never take advantage of an opponent's injury; such behavior was the exclusive realm of "heels." In match #393, Shane competes with a bandaged right knee and Michael targets it repeatedly (often using a closed fist). As a matter of fact, the moments when Michael is most successful in getting Shane to register on-camera reactions to pain occur when Shane's knee injury is being aggravated.

     Speaking of injuries, Michael is confused about Shane's degree of UCW experience ("Is this your first match? Third? Second?"). Considering UCW's penchant for releasing videos out of order, this may well be Shane's debut. Whatever the case, Shane bears no ugly bruises on his left arm. This leads me to conclude that those black-and-blue marks were inflicted later on by Quinn Harper (in matches #386 and #388, which I haven't yet viewed due to my disgust over Harper's presence).
     Oftentimes it seems as though UCW is clueless as to how to best showcase their stars (that was one of Damien Flawless's primary complaints) and this video features an unforgivable faux pas concerning ring attire. I wouldn't give a damn if UCW had Quinn Harper wrestle in overalls, but putting hot guys like Shane Saunders and Michael Hannigan in shorts that extend to their knees is an outrage. Furthermore, Shane and Michael remain in this unflattering garb until the 14:47 mark, when Shane is stripped down to his Calvins*** (and Michael disrobes from his baggy basketball shorts out of camera range, just to be sociable).

     By the way, The Stripping of Shane Saunders (that should have been the title of this video -- good use of alliteration) occurs when Michael places Shane in bondage -- sort of. Michael is totally inept at the bondage game (he's no Nick Diesel) and Shane manages to unshackle his left wrist in seconds. Shane grins and says, "Shit, you can't even tie a knot, dude! You can't even tie!" This mild chastisement is spoken in such a charming manner, Shane's words would have melted the coldest heart -- but not Michael's, in this pro wrestling "heel" incarnation. Instead of joining Shane in self-deprecating laughter, Hannigan goes on the attack.

     It should also be mentioned that Shane struggled so valiantly to avoid this bondage scene, portions were edited out (and, given what happened to Pvt. Jack Marino in #391, that's totally understandable). It was interesting to see Michael on the other side of a bondage segment; the ab punishment that he endured at the hands of Pedro Espada in match #320 (while trapped in the very same restraints) now seems less unfair. (Note: Certain edits in this video could have been the product of time constraints, including the one I just mentioned. It seems as though UCW wanted a high resolution video of manageable size; most of their prior releases ran longer that 25 minutes.)

     All in all, this is a highly entertaining match. Shane is gorgeous and Michael is technically proficient (able to replicate a lengthy repertoire of WWE-style maneuvers to a "t"). This match gets XOXOXOXO -- four hugs and kisses out of a possible five -- a very high score (especially when you consider the fact that most offerings from other federations would receive a "1" or "2" from Old Freddie). My only gripes are the basketball shorts on the boys during the first half, and the fact that Shane is not lying prone on the mat for even a millisecond (that's when I would usually utilize stop-action playback and enjoy some moments of quiet contemplation).

Shane Saunders, with the most expressive feet in UCW.

     As mentioned (several times), this is video #393 and it's available here in high definition so stark and appealing that you'll think the boys are there in the room with you. Oh, and if you're seeking the antidote to those knee-length shorts, lucky you! If you act now (god, I sound like such a huckster), you can still download match #295 for the bargain price of $5 -- that's perennial hotboy Ethan Axel Andrews versus the sexiest wrestler who ever lived, Johnny Deep (MBPJD) in...jocks!!! Download both #393 and #295 from the same page for under $20 -- and tell them Old Freddie sent you. The best value in gay wrestling today!!!

* I actually found Shane's parrot-decorated t-shirt more interesting, because I suspect that it advertises some L.A. area club and it might provide yet another clue as to Shane's exact birthplace. (I'm still guessing Bel Air, based on Eli's comment in video #384.)
** Also not counting Hunter Day, the misguided young man who didn't hold the title long enough to thank his fans for their support. (Hunter was jumped from behind by Eli Black and strangled until he passed out during his first video blog as champion.)
*** Shane's inspiration for this fashion choice is obvious.

Old Freddie Young Accepts Ethan Axel Andrews' ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

     As you may already know, in the current Inside Scoop posted at the UCW Wrestling site, Ethan Axel Andrews calls me out and challenges me to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. If you haven't yet seen that UCW video blog, here it is:

     At the top of the page is my response to that Inside Scoop. As you can see, after a swig of Fulton's Harvest Pumpkin Pie Cream Liqueur, I'm totally up for any challenge. (By the way, that's called "product placement" and I expect the Cedar Hill Distilling Company of Bardstown, Kentucky to compensate me generously.)
     I was happy to use this event to preach to the "heels" of UCW (Quinn Harper, Eli Black, Isaiah "Ice" Burg, etc.) about the need to obey rules. Please notice that I adhered to every directive of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge (as outlined in the Wikipedia article): "Within 24 hours of being challenged, participants are to video record themselves in continuous footage. First, they are to announce their acceptance of the challenge followed by pouring ice into a bucket of water. The bucket is then to be lifted overhead and poured over the participant's head. Then the participant can call out a challenge to other people."
     Furthermore, in accordance with the original concept of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, I will be donating $10 to the ALS Association of America (had I declined Ethan's challenge, I would have been obligated to donate $100). Note to those who frequently sell items on eBay: the ALS Association (the national organization and various local chapters) are listed among the "eBay Giving Works" nonprofits.
     At the end of my video, I call out local Connecticut UCW wrestler Pedro Espada to accept the Ice Bucket Challenge. I was careful to pronounce Pedro's name correctly because I remember how he brutalized former UCW champ Michael Hannigan (match #320) for not doing so.
     

UCW Wrestling Misses Again

     Well, at least this UCW Wrestling blog gives me the opportunity to share some great music with you. Up top is live footage of Phil Collins performing "Missed Again," which should be UCW's new theme song (the saxophone solo at the three minute mark is killer, btw).
     Below that, we have handsome, young UCW hero Jax Briggs proudly displaying the UCW All-Star Championship belt after only his third match in the federation (match #358, which caused me to experience an uncharacteristically optimistic outlook toward UCW Wrestling, human nature, and life in general). Little did I know that UCW was about to give us a Montreal Screwjob redux.
     For those who missed it, match #358 concludes with Jax pinning an unconscious Eli Black for a three count (which could easily have been a thirty count). Jax then casually saunters off camera range, returns with the UCW All-Star Championship belt, and says, "Tell Eli, if he wants this, he knows where to come find me." It seemed as though UCW had finally turned a corner and ushered in a new era -- with an unfailingly respectful, totally likable young man now representing the federation (instead of a brutally sadistic megalomaniac like Eli Black).
     However, as usual, the light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be an oncoming train. I didn't see it coming. I smugly savored the seeming irony of the next Inside Scoop video posted at the UCW site, in which Eli Black strutted and boasted about his ownership of the All-Star belt:

     "They must have dug up that video in the archives and posted it just to rub salt in Eli's wounds," I mused.  I couldn't wait for the next Inside Scoop which, I assumed, would feature Jax politely thanking his fans for their support and Eli experiencing a total meltdown. Instead, the next Inside Scoop was an absolute disappointment for several reasons (we'll talk about them later), but mostly because the video blog once again made reference to Eli Black as the reigning UCW Champion.
     "I guess this interview took place before match #358," I remarked in a post after viewing the video.
     "Jax didn't win the belt in 358; he carried it away but no ref," UCW tersely replied via their official Facebook page.
     Naturally, I ranted and raved about the injustice of it all, but to no avail. Privately, UCW founder Michael "Bodyslam" messaged me and explained, "Jax isn't the champ...he didn't win the belt, there was no ref at the time...he took the belt but Eli took it back later in a blog that was lost when my computer crashed."
     Personally, I'm just about ready to give up on UCW and form my own federation. I've floated the idea past several current and former UCW wrestlers, and they've all reacted in a positive manner toward the proposed venture. Referring to UCW star Pedro Espada, I posted the following message on my official Facebook:
     "Pedro and I had it all figured out during our interview. My living room is big enough for a 10' x 10' mat -- we were going to call our federation LRW (Living Room Wrestling). I was going to pattern myself after Michael Bodyslam and Pedro was going to be like Ethan Axel Andrews (training the guys, hazing them in their first match). We were going to have inter-federation matches with UCW-Wrestling, too (our LRW heels would invade Philadelphia and attack the UCW faces, your UCW heels would invade CT and attack our LRW faces, etc.)"
     Pedro replied with: "I would need more training before I teach others. But I like the idea *thumbs up*"
     Former UCW star Damien Shamrock (aka Damien Flawless) offered: "I'd make an awesome trainer one day!"
     Even the rightful champion of UCW, Jax Briggs himself, commented: "Bring your new fed to UCW and we will school them."
     Honestly, that was so nice of Jax to offer free training to prospective LRW members! (That was what Jax meant, right?)
     At any rate, having my own federation would allow me to load the roster with grapplers like UCW's Fab Five: Ethan Axel Andrews, Jax Briggs, Johnny Deep, Michael Hannigan, and Aron Stokes (listed in alphabetical order via last names, since I could never attempt to rank those hotties according to the degree of affection that I feel for them).

UCW Wrestling's Isaiah "Ice" Burg Publicly Threatens Me & Pedro Espada Talks Gut Punching

     That's a photo of a hapless Isaiah "Ice" Burg on the receiving end of seemingly endless punishment during Underground Championship Wrestling (UCW) match #337, a match I've already reviewed. Originally, the blog entry bore the title, "UCW's Michael Hannigan: Not A 'Paper Champion'" and it was intended as recognition of the often under-appreciated talents of the former champ ("Ringside At Skull Island" blogger Joe immediately comes to mind -- how anyone could praise a cheap-shot artist like Eli Black and malign a skilled athlete like Hannigan is beyond me).
     As for Michael's opponent, Isaiah "Ice" Burg -- he was essentially irrelevant to the story. I felt neither fondness nor animosity toward Isaiah. I politely noted the wrestling skills that he'd displayed during his earlier match against Ethan Axel Andrews. The fact that Michael Hannigan absolutely and totally dominated Isaiah during match #337 was presented as testimony to Michael's incredible skill, not to any ineptitude on Isaiah's part.

     Make no mistake about it -- match #337 was one of the rarest phenomenon in pro wrestling. This was a unique example of a "face" squashing a "heel." It's not often that a brutally aggressive villain plays the role of jobber, but it happened here.

     From day one, "Ice" (a nickname seemingly chosen to denote ice water in the veins, a cold-blooded nature, a cold heart -- flattery in the mind of this particular wrestler) made no pretense at sportsmanship or even common, human decency. During his initial "Inside Scoop" appearance, "Ice" saw fit to joke about killing potential UCW opponents. Ethan Axel Andrews (who was conducting the interview) made some regrettable quip about there being no rules in UCW except a prohibition on murder. "Ice" then devised a loophole -- injuring UCW competitors so badly that they died in the hospital days later.

     Michael Hannigan (who, along with Ethan Axel Andrews, is one of only two "legitimate" All Star Champions in UCW history) was obviously unintimidated by "Ice's" bluster. Throughout match #337, Michael racks up pinfall after pinfall, submission after submission from "Ice," who seems to be experiencing a humiliating meltdown.

     What makes this defeat of "Ice" by Hannigan so devastatingly thorough is the fact that the referee for this title match, Quinn Harper, harbored a grudge against the former champion. Harper's officiating during match #337 is blatantly, unapologetically biased against Michael. Time and time again, Harper refuses to count when "Ice's" shoulders are pinned, refuses to acknowledge "Ice's" attempts to tap out.

     Hannigan literally walks all over "Ice" during match #337. "Ice" frequently resembles a doormat, and any "killer instincts" that this once-feared grappler possesses are probably turned inward by the time the bout concludes.

     Out of empathy for "Ice" after viewing this emotionally crippling (for him) beatdown, I didn't really go into detail about the multitudinous indignities he suffered during match #337. Clearly, "Ice" was outclassed by a far superior technical wrestler in Michael Hannigan, but I saw no point in rubbing salt in "Ice's" wounds.

     Yes, I tried to be diplomatic...until I saw the most recent "Inside Scoop" video at UCW's website. Incredibly, there is "Ice" Burg calling me out by name, cursing me, and threatening me in terms generally uttered by homicidal psychopaths. Why? Well, in my previous review of match #337, I simply mentioned that "Ice" was "able to mount virtually no offense" in that encounter.

     That was all I said during my review of one of the most one-sided mismatches in the history of modern sports. A mild observation like that caused "Ice" to go ballistic? I never knew that the dear boy was so sensitive.

     In direct response to "Ice's" videotaped tirade, let me say the following. In no way will you EVER prevent me from exercising my first amendment rights, at this or any other forum. Your challenge to fight me in a UCW match is ludicrous (Google it -- it's not a misspelled reference to the rapper). You probably are impressed by rhyming rhetoric so...I'm a writer, not a fighter. A fitting analogy would be me challenging you to create your own blog and gain a larger audience than mine. (It's actually unlikely that you could even remember your intended topic throughout the course of composing a single paragraph. As the blurb at the end of your pathetic display of mic skills suggested, you wrestled former UCW Champion Michael Hannigan -- not current UCW Champion Eli Black. Poor thing, I know it gets confusing.)

     Moving right along...on a strangely related note, UCW wrestler Pedro Espada visited me at my Connecticut home yesterday. Despite audio problems, I managed to salvage this fascinating footage during which Pedro discusses his membership in "the gut punching community" and tells us how this proclivity has played into his matches against Michael Hannigan and Ethan Axel Andrews. Pedro mentions experiences during his middle school  and high school years in East Hartford, CT during which his ability to take a punch was constantly being tested (East Hartford is a different world from many other parts of the state). Pedro acknowledges that he never had clearly defined abs "like Private Jack Marino or Hiro" (sorry, Eli). During his early adolescence, Pedro didn't really have a name for his gut-punching fetish, but he always considered the abs to be "the most attractive body part on a man." Pedro's friends were always trying to catch him off-guard with a gut punch, but he literally can count the number of times they were successful. Pedro has successfully withstood gut punching from a pro boxer and a two-on-one confrontation. Part of the appeal for Pedro is the challenge, but there's an added dimension that he can't explain. Here -- listen for yourself (and once again, sorry about the audio quality).

     I really wanted to have FAITH (remind me to discuss Pedro's shoulder tat at a later date) that Pedro was one of the good guys in UCW. However, after our taped interview concluded and we were chatting informally, Pedro admitted that he is being groomed as one of the federation's "heels." Pedro also mentioned that UCW founder Michael "Bodyslam" had been aware of our scheduled meeting -- a complete surprise to me, since Bodyslam had been playing coy about this matter during Facebook messages we'd exchanged. Bodyslam is, of course, mainly responsible for the anarchic, no-rules approach in UCW. Now he most certainly knows my home address via online interaction with Pedro. On top of all that, Bodyslam posted a sinister reminder to me via Facebook just this morning: "Pedro isn't that nice in the ring. He did tie up UCW Michael Hannigan and take some cheap shots at him." Yes, that's true...
     However, what really troubles me is the fact that Pedro unexpectedly brought up "Ice's" name -- he said that they were part of a UCW alliance and a friendship in real life. I didn't think much of it at the time. Then, a few hours later, that threatening "Inside Scoop" was posted.
     Ah, well...it's my problem. I won't trouble you with it. I know you come here for discussions about UCW wrestling, and I intend to keep right on blogging.
     Oh, by the way, the "Ice" vs. Hannigan match (#337) is available for purchase at the UCW website. Buy it and have fun counting the number of minutes (maybe seconds) that "Ice" is displaying any offensive skills whatsoever.

UCW's Michael Hannigan vs. Pedro Espada: "These Are Times That Try Men's Souls"

 

     Concerning this blog entry's title...it just seemed natural to use that quote from Thomas Paine, written during the bleakest period of the American Revolution, to describe the current state of affairs in Underground Championship Wrestling (UCW). Cases in point (in chronological order):

1. My Beautiful Precious Johnny Deep (who shall henceforth and forever be known in this blog as MBPJD) inexplicably and abruptly declared himself to be on hiatus from UCW for an indefinite period of time. This development sent me on a downward spiral emotionally and nearly led to a termination of this blog, since I suspected that the attention Johnny received from myself (and a huge number of other UCW fans) may have caused the callow youth to withdraw from the spotlight. MBPJD's endearingly shy qualities were on vivid display in his "Inside Scoop" UCW video update and I probably should have attempted to tone down the enormous affection that I felt for this particular UCW grappler (at least when I was composing public entries for this well publicized blog).

2. The monster Eli Black -- the flesh-and-blood incarnation of the vile, ruthlessly brutal, dark side of human nature -- now represents UCW as the federation's All Star Champion. No, Eli didn't defeat Michael Hannigan (or Ethan Axel Andrews, or any other top level athlete in the UCW ranks). The deck has been stacked against the legitimate athletes (and in favor of the street brawlers) over at UCW for quite some time, thanks to "Bodyslam" Michael's Machiavellian no-rules, sell-videos-at-all-costs philosophy. This misguided sense of priorities led to enforcement of a 24/7 title defense rule for the championship belt. To make a long story short, the true UCW Champion Michael Hannigan was defeated for the title thanks to a noose (yes, a noose) fashioned and utilized by a bondage obsessed sadist named Nick Diesel (a far too lackadaisical Ethan Axel Andrews, who refereed the match, finally put himself through the annoyance of checking Michael's breathing at the grueling bout's conclusion). Diesel achieved only a Pyrrhic victory, however, because an opportunistic street-urchin-turned-wrestler named Hunter Day materialized out of nowhere and took the title from the exhausted bondage master a few seconds later. Still, this was not the end of the championship chaos. During Hunter's first interview as champion, our friend Eli Black attacked the rookie from behind, strangled the kid (hands around the throat -- not even the pretense of a sleeper hold) until the young man passed out, then demanded that Ethan Axel Andrews (who had been watching videos in an adjoining room) don a referee's shirt, count Hunter's shoulders down, and declare a new title holder.

3. Bereft of the championship, Michael Hannigan disappeared from UCW's social networking platforms for several weeks. I worried, and "Bodyslam" Michael labeled me a worrywart. However, I realized that my fears were justified when Michael Hannigan finally returned to Facebook to inform his friends and fans that his father had been taken ill and was in need of a kidney transplant. Furthermore, Michael was scheduled to take some medical tests to determine if he would be a match as a kidney donor. Were Michael to volunteer for the procedure, he himself would be subject to medical risks. Michael admitted to being stressed out during this period of his young life. I've been waiting for more updates, but thus far Michael's only public statement has been "UCW fans are awesome." I continue to worry.

4. Despite my philosophical differences with "Bodyslam" Michael concerning UCW's anarchic approach to pro wrestling, I feel a great deal of respect and friendship for the man. After all, it was Bodyslam's desire to prevent injuries among untrained backyard wrestlers that led to the eventual formation of Underground Championship Wrestling. Therefore I was totally taken aback when, just yesterday, I learned via Bodyslam's Facebook that he was scheduled for open heart surgery. Michael is promising to keep us all updated, and is (quite deservedly) building a huge online support network comprised largely of appreciative UCW fans.

     Seriously folks, could things get any worse? Even the health of Winston, one of the two loyal UCW dogs (along with Silas) in the Bodyslam-Axel household, has been called into question.
     It may be egotistical for me to believe, given all of the trials and tribulations that the two Michael's (Hannigan and Bodyslam) are facing, that either of them really cares whether or not I'm blogging. However, when Johnny announced his departure from UCW and I told Bodyslam via instant messenger that I was considering quitting this blog, I remember his reaction.
     "I don't want that," Bodyslam told me. "I like you writing about us...okay, sorry, just thought you should know...Hannigan will miss you and so will I..okay...talk to you later I hope..."
     Now you see, ladies and gentlemen, this is what makes UCW so special. We not only enjoy the wrestling as entertainment, but we also get to know and care about the wrestlers (and owners) as people. Maybe another blog entry would help Michael Hannigan and Michael Bodyslam know how much I appreciate them as a wrestler and as a federation founder, respectively.
     In that spirit, here we go again...

     When you start off a video with a close-up shot of a wrestler's feet, you know you're in for a kink-fest catering to every niche fetish in the gay community.

     Those are Pedro's feet (Michael's feet, to the best of my recollection, have never been featured in a UCW medium close-up). In addition to this opening sop to male foot fetishists, we also have male/male spanking action (fulfilling my Michael-Hannigan-as-fraternity-pledge fantasy)...

     There are plenty of good, old fashioned, pro wrestling asphyxiation scenes...

     
     Bondage in leather restraints...

     Lots of absolutely merciless abs punishment (both in and out of bondage). In real life, Pedro is a gut punch aficionado (I know; he's a Facebook friend of mine). As a matter of fact, before this scene, Pedro looked into the camera and said, "This is for all of you gut punching fans." Then he did this to poor Michael...

     There's even nipple twisting aka tit torture. (Originally, Pedro inflicted this punishment on Michael for daring to protect his abs during a gut punching scene. Later, Michael exacted some payback...)

     In short, there's everything here except nylon windbreakers (inside joke).
     Generally, I don't enjoy face vs. face matches (I'm still trying to recover from the disorienting effects of seeing Ethan Axel Andrews doing bodily harm to Johnny Deep). However, there is no real acrimony in this match. The central conflict in this video simply centers upon Michael's cocky Caucasian persona and Pedro's Hispanic pride. The video opens with Michael deliberately mispronouncing Pedro's surname ("uh-spot-uh") and making tasteless puns -- e.g., "you've got uh-spot-uh here..." (pointing at Pedro's briefs) "...and uh-spot-uh here..." (pointing at Pedro's youthful complexion).
     As a result of this initial mockery, Pedro slaps Michael's hand away when he attempts a rather condescending, noblesse oblige style handshake (as shown in this blog entry's very top photo). Michael reacts by commenting, "Disrespect? Alright..." -- demonstrating that he is oblivious to his own rudeness. Throughout this match, especially during the bondage and abs punishment scenes, Pedro tries to force Michael to pronounce his surname correctly. However Michael (like MBPJD) is a Taurus and he stubbornly refuses; instead Michael delivers a series of smart aleck quips that spur Pedro to inflict even more torment upon him. At one point (during the choke-out scene pictured above), Michael brashly pushes his luck by looking into the camera, addressing the viewing audience, and commenting, "Uh-spot-uh -- now that's a stupid name."
     Lest we get carried away by all this, let me now reiterate that Pedro and I are Facebook friends. We both not only reside in Connecticut, but also reside in the same east/central portion of the state. (I would link to Pedro's Facebook, but it's his personal account; still, he uses it to interact with UCW accounts constantly, and most UCW fans already know him). Knowing the real Pedro, I know that he has as much gay pride as he has Hispanic pride. I also know his true feelings concerning Michael Hannigan...

     This photo from Pedro's Facebook shows him posing with Michael after the match. (We know it's a post match pic because of the reddened area around Michael's midsection.) Pedro's caption reads, "Me and Michael loads a fun and a great guy to work with!" (By the way, there's a smiley face emoticon after "fun" that can't be reproduced.) 
     In summation, this match is more like hot play between male friends than a grudge fight. I won't give you any clues whatsoever as to who eventually comes out on top. (Somewhere "Bodyslam" Michael is smiling.) Of course, there is plenty of pain (this is, after all, UCW) but the vibe is totally different from that brutal domination video which prompted me to start this blog (and we won't discuss that atrocity any further). This match is filled with consensual S&M. After inflicting significant punishment on his opponent, each wrestler asks for a submission. If a submission is denied (and it is, time and time again), the hold is broken and a new maneuver is attempted. Thankfully, this video will leave you aroused but not traumatized.
     This video is #320 and finding it at the UCW site is kind of tricky. From the home page, click the tab that says "VIDEOS." That will take you to a page called "videolatest.html" which features matches #331 to #350. Now, here's where it gets tricky. This page contains two "MORE VIDEOS" links, one at the top of the page and one at the bottom of the page. If you click the TOP link, you're fine. The TOP link takes you to a page called "combatsecond.html" featuring videos #308 to #330 (which includes this video, plus Pedro's match against Ethan Axel Andrews -- #314). However, if you click on the BOTTOM link, you get sent to a page called "combat2.html" -- that page features only videos #300 to #306, and you'll be lost and confused forever. (Yes, it happened to me for quite some time.) Who designed this site anyway? Quinn Harper?
    At any rate Blogger Joe from Ringside at Skull Island reviewed this match, and you can read it here:

      Ringside at Skull Island: Vote for Pedro:   Here are some screen shots of UCW 's latest release [#320]: Pedro Espada versus Michael Hannigan. It's basically a...

Funny how so many readers misunderstood the pop culture reference, "Vote For Pedro." (Google it.)

     That's about it, folks. Of course, Michael Hannigan is now facing adversity in his personal life far greater than any UCW opponent. We're still in your corner, champ. Stay strong. We love you.